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Nikko and the Lies We Tell Little Boys and More

To everyone who thinks Mimi makes ALL Black women look bad I gotta question, Do Donna Brazile, Esperanza Spalding, Chrisette Michele, Angela Bassett, Michelle Obama, Julianne Malveaux, Solange, Ya Ya Dacosta, Gaby Douglas, and so many more, make ALL Black women look good? If so, can we please change the narrative, like now?! Freedom starts with the mind, stopping believing the hype.  But, this isn’t about Mimi. This is about Nikko and the lies we tell little boys who grow into men and more.

It’s unfortunate society doesn’t teach little boys to treasure their bodies as precious gifts, ( like recent comments by Steve Harvey to Mimi in response to the Nikko and Mimi Scandal in Atlanta, we’ll get to that later). It’s too bad the bodies of Black men are more acknowledged and celebrated than their intellect and skill. It’s sad in 2014 young men are still taught they can be “trapped” by pregnancy. If in 2014 your son doesn’t know how to prevent a pregnancy you’ve failed, we’ve failed, miserably as parents and society. It’s pathetic, young men to this day think if a woman gets pregnant it’s HER fault. Hold up. Young men should be taught in EVERY situation, unless someone knocks you upside the head and steals your sperm, they decide whether a young lady becomes pregnant. In other words, women cannot impregnate themselves. Biology 101-it takes sperm to fertilize an egg to produce a pregnancy. Sperm can only be released by, who? Men! Exactly! So, don’t be mad when YOU decide to impregnate someone and she decides to keep it. Her decision is secondary. It’s puzzling we live in a society when two realty T.V personalities decide to produce and release A Scandal in Atlanta, she’s somehow reduced to trash but he’s desired? From blogs to television to radio, everyone is talking about how Nikko used Mimi. Has anyone stopped to think in this situation Mimi used Nikko? That perhaps in this situation Nikko is a ho (without the e)? Probably not, that would contradict all the lies we tell little boys who then become men. Note: Men can be hoes; little boys need to know this.

I don’t claim to know Nikko, never met Nikko and have no desire to do so. Like a lot of folks, I only know of Nikko through his cameos on Vh1’s Love and Hip Hop Atlanta. The following statements are based on what he does and says on the show.

  • Nikko, when you deal with an abused and abandoned woman like Mimi, if you mistreat her, you’re continuing the abuse. In other words, Nikko you’re no better than Stevie J.! Hell, Mimi should have kept her ass on the bus no matter how short that bus was.
  • During season 2, you publicly clown Mimi by calling her damaged goods. So, now that you’re doing the damage (literally and figuratively) it’s all good?
  • There’s no way in hell you can convince anyone with half an ant’s brain that you care for Mimi. A man who cares for a woman and mother of a little child would not participate in A Scandal in Atlanta, even if she, MImi, is the one doing the pimpin’. It just wouldn’t happen.
  • Explain to the world why you agreed to put your now fiance (when did yall get engaged?) on display. Most men don’t get down with cats eyeballing their chick at the mall let alone being in a flick. Get out of here!
  • Nikko, we know the thirst is really real but damn! For real?
  • Are you a parent? Will you and Mimi be together when Eva is old enough to be exposed to yall’s fawkery? If so, how will you explain why you participated in putting her momma on blast?
  • What profits a man to gain the world and lose his soul?

 

The truth is this, when you become a parent, mother or father, the luxury of “I” disappears. Your worldview is through the lens of that child. This doesn’t suggest or imply that parents are no longer adults with adult desires. It means HOW you explore those things change because you now have little eyes watching and little ears listening. If Mimi weren’t a mother I doubt people would even care. Oh yeah, this isn’t about Mimi. Recently, Beyonce was quoted as saying women should own their sexuality. Yeah, own it. Package it, trademark it, apply for a patent, make a t-shirt, stamp and brand it! But does owning your sexuality, (what exactly does that mean?) suggest you have to share it with the whole wide world? Just because YOU own YOUR sexuality doesn’t mean I have to. To hell with the notion of living in a post-racial society. We live in a post-sacred, post-private society where standards are questionable.

In a trailer for season 3, Mimi expresses concern about her daughter but while walking through LAX rocking big, celebrity glasses, she laughs  with paparazzi while answering questions about her and Nikko’s sex antics. A truly remorseful mother would have responded something like this, “I have no comment. It’s enough the tape is out and my daughter will one day have to deal with this.” Period! Damn! I keep forgetting this isn’t about Mimi.

The problem with Nikko and Mimi’s tape is it’s too blatant, it’s too in your face. Here’s the deal, a lot of people who watch adult films like the idea of secretly selecting what they want. Despite living in a Google society, for many, watching porn is still a very private act. Nikko and Mimi are blatant to the point of being trashy and unattractive.

Love guru and author Steve Harvey weighs in on the mess. Not surprising, he joins the rest of the world and directs his comments to Mimi (sigh). What a difference it would make if everything Steve Harvey says to Mimi were taught to little boys. How impactful his statements would be if he directed them to Nikko. But he doesn’t. Steve Harvey focuses solely on Mimi as if men have no responsibility for their actions and decisions. Although no one has said it, I think a vast majority of folks are focusing on Mimi because they believe Nikko is just being a man and doing what men do. Another lie we tell little boys who grow into men. Remember, little eyes are watching and little ears are listening.

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